are fake stories the best answer? a recent situation (follows a lenghty de_script_ion of me _unable_ to do any ss or nlp or exercise any control at all
: me and my friend were sitting in my dorm-room, discussing his upcoming wedding (poor fella
. a girl I might be interested in came in to look for my room-mate, who (luckily
was't there. well, she decided to stay for a while anyway. as for her and my room-mate, she has stated on many an occasion, we're friends
. and when I asked him about it, he said something like: yea, what a girl! er, yea, we're, um, friends
and his face was saying something like s..., this is so unfair, life sucks, aarghh!
well anyway, she stayed and started a conversation. she's a fourth year psychology major and basically in complete control of the conversation most of the time. she leads and I'm on a leash. she asks me the questions. bad - she picks the themes, I'm struggling with the answers and by the time I'm ready to strike back with a question or a change of theme, she's already analyzing my answer, obviously from the standpoint of a psychologist. my only effective weapon is - whenever she goes into her analyze mode (and she is picking me apart with it, I know enough psychology to understand what she says and enough of myself to know that what she seays is, goddammit, pretty much the truth about me), I start looking in her eyes in a way that will make her laugh and start complaining I can't! through the laughter and drop/forget whatever she was talking about. good, but inadequate. I really haven't had a chance to apply any ss or nlp in our conversations as they flow with her leading, but when I dropped in the phrase neuro-linguistic-programming in a way which demanded her to make a response to it which would have identified, whether she was familiar with it or not - she was. so even if I used some stuff, I really don't know whether I could get away with it without her detecting it, her being a fourth year psychology major and me being a complete beginner in the ss/nlp arena. and I don't feel like her detecting it wouldn't matter, she's got enough control as it is, a hahaa, this guy is trying to nlp me
thought might just kill whatever interest she might have towards me. but she does seem to have some nevertheless. although I'm being a very AFC'ish conversation partner (by not being able to lead), I'm not supplicating, I'm arguing to defend my views, questioning her's and even getting her to admit that I might be right in my opposing opinions about (blah, whetever topic she has picked), in other words, getting her to admit that I'm a worthy opponent from time to time. still - its her show. so as we discuss my friend's getting married, she asks: well, what about you, are you then not a ladie's man? (which doesn't mean a p_layer_ here, just being someone's boyfriend). in other words she was asking, do I have a girlfriend. for one moment I thought its my turn now
and remembered all the wild girlfriend stories I've read here, but then I came back to earth. my friend was still there, and he sure knows I don't have a girlfriend (I'll explain this in a moment
. I might have started lying and even get away with him having a huge questionmark for a face in the beginning and an evil grin a few moments later had we not been talking to the girl we did. having had an honest conversation so far (only omitting something from time to time, but that's different from lying
and I felt my friends non-verbal reaction would reveal immediately to her, that the mood of the conversation has changed. so the answer was not at the moment and in reply to the question I was already expecting ( why not? ) me and my friend went into the details of him trying to set me up with various girls (some of which, it later turned out, were even in love with me, god I felt sorry for them) and me turning them down on a consistent basis, which in a way was an answer of I have high standards . but it sucked anyway. so my question, would we have been alone with the girl, are the fake girlfriend stories ( yea I've got a girlfriend, but she has a problem with oral...
the ones to tell? although, us living in the same dorm - she might find out I'm lying before I've gotten her truely intrigued about me
so the other question is, what are the options of presenting the absence of a girl-friend favourably
? and what about the girls, I just don't feel like telling them I _do_ have a girl-friend (with or without a problem with the oral
is a good idea? because, in lots of cases, such a question is a fairly direct are you available
? . why blow it with an apparent no and then start from scratch by trying to build up heat inside her by telling about your imaginary girl-friend's problem with receiving oral sex
tony - still wondering, whether this particular girl's are you a ladie's man might have been an are you available
and if so, how to proceed without the helping hand of nlp and ss
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