NY DAILY NEWS/KRISSY MAC http://tinyurl.com/2x842v Apparently, the girls from The Hills are the new black. It seems that Us Weekly has either Lauren Conrad or Heidi Montag on its cover every week, always with the same basic headline: I Was Stabbed in the Back. I Was Betrayed. I Became Famous for Doing Nothing and Am Now Producing an Ugly Clothing Line. Same, same, same. These Reality TV Girls have so much drama it would be better to call them Lifetime Television for Women Made for TV Movie Girls. Here's what the mags are talking about this week ... Jennifer Aniston's Magic Diet (OK's cover) and possible Love Triangle with Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson (Star's cover). Well, the Love Triangle is more of a Kate -Is-Dating-Him-and-I'm-Making-a-Movie- With-Him thing. And the diet is basically Eat less! Exercise! with a little bit of Learn to Accept Yourself! thrown in for good measure. Not so magical. Pictures of J.Lo's babies, Max and Emme, were released to People (shocker) this week and they're pretty cute. They don't look anything like their dad. Like I said, they're pretty cute. Angelina took all her kids for a walk in New Orleans over the weekend. Even Shiloh, who's been carried for every minute of her life thus far, was allowed to stretch her legs. (Ah, remember when Maddox wasn't allowed to walk for two years? Seems like only yesterday ...) The family walked to the corner store and bought Cheetos. Wow, Angelina and her kids ARE Just Like Us ... and Britney. In Touch tells us that Brangie are expecting boy/girl twins. But In Touch has told us a lot of things that turned out to be not-quite-100%- accurate, so I think we should just wait and see. Halle Berry has named her baby girl Nahla Ariela. Of course she did. Life & _style_ asks, Where's Suri? on its cover this week, claiming that she's been missing for 8 weeks! Turns out Suri's just laying low after TomKat realized that she doesn't need to be eating at lavish restaurants or shopping at Barneys. Now that's what Oprah would call an A-ha! moment. Did Jessica Biel dye her hair that color blond for fun or was some movie producer maybe holding a gun to her head? I sure hope it was the latter. I like Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy so much better now that they're a couple. I don't know why, but as individuals, they both sort of bugged. But together, they're less bothersome. Attention Meg Ryan: BACK AWAY from the needle! OMG! OMG! Beverly Hills 90210 is coming back to TV!! Um, this news might cause some thirtysomething women to hyperventilate. I'm just saying. Sheryl Crow has been hanging out with billionaire Steve Bing. Isn't this the guy who denied being the father of Elizabeth Hurley's son (which he is)? I know there are two sides to every story, but c'mon. He also dated Nicole Kidman and Uma Thurman, thus guaranteeing him an easy entry into the Adam Duritz How the Hell Does He Score These Hot Chicks? Hall of Fame, alongside David Spade, Wilmer Valderrama and that guy from Maroon 5. Those pesky Matt Lauer divorce rumors have flared up again. Wife Annette was spotted smiling (unusual) and without a wedding ring, so OF COURSE this means she's happy about the fact that she's going to file for divorce! Duh. Anyone with two eyes and an overactive imagination could see it. Do you think the troops are ever disappointed in the celebrities who visit them overseas? Like maybe they think, Oh man, Jessica Simpson? I was hoping for Bruce Springsteen! Or maybe Scarlett Johansson? What's SHE going to do for us? Because I kind of believe that's what I would think. Do you know what's odd? Clay Aiken's hair is the same ugly color blond as Jessica Biel's and it looks even worse on him. Lindsay Lohan is torn between two lesbian lovers. (They should totally remake that song!) It seems that DJ Samantha Ronson and the daughter of the rich Yahoo! guy, Courtenay Semel, both want Lindsay and are willing to fight for her. It's so great how Lohan has steered clear of drama since she left rehab, isn't it? There are rumors that K-Fed and Britney could possibly reunite. What's crazy is, everyone is rooting for this! Flash back to a time when everyone thought Britney was crazy for marrying a loser like Kevin. Now a reconciliation could be the best thing for her? Ah, it's a crazy world in which we live. Drew Lachey and his Dancing With the Stars partner, Cheryl Burke, are denying rumors that they had an affair while on tour for the show. The fact that they're holding hands while doing so is not helping their case. Let's conclude with yet a few more tidbits on The Hills girls ... Lauren Conrad is enjoying a friends with benefits relationship with Kevin Connolly from Entourage as well as dating Dave Annable from Brothers & Sisters. She and Kristin Cavallari are not enemies anymore. Whitney Port is joining the club and designing her own clothing line. Lastly, topless photos of Audrina Partridge have surfaced on the Internet. Audrina explains, They were meant to be artistic. Of course they were, sweetie. Words I taught my spell check include: Nahla, Ariela. Signing off with a quote: If you add to the truth, you subtract from it. The Talmud But c'mon, The Talmud, you also make it so much more entertaining and enjoyable!