It *is* indeed the case. Speculation about why, or whether or not that is good is interesting subject matter, but irrelevant to the subject at hand. No, it is relevant. I would never act assuming that women are waiting for me to ask them, nor that I have to make all the moves. That's a very sexist attitude for anyone to have. Bah. The vast majority of all women expect men to initiate contact, initiate the first kiss, initiate sex, and even initiate the marriage proposal. Just because it tends to be this way doesn't prevent a woman from breaking the mold, but if you spend your entire life waiting for women to break the mold, you're going to spend a great deal of time alone. And you damn well better be more attractive than me, too, because I once spent time waiting for women to come to me, and it didn't work too well. And like I said, I'm more attractive than Tom Selleck. *joke* C/

I find it very fascinating how you treat the two different things as mutually exclusive. It's almost pathological. OK, there are people who want short-term sex, and people who want a long-term committment...how many relationships have you personally seen that don't lean strongly toward one side or the other? If you only feel so-so about a relationship of either kind, you're probably not motivated enough to be in one in the first place. But the long term commitments include sex too! Also, you can't shunt people into one of two groups.  It isn't an either or situation.  Most people go into relationships hoping that this is the love of their lives. You cannot count one-night stands among relationships.  One-night stands can be fun and tension releasing if both partners understand that.  Even one-night stand sex is beautiful, because it puts a connection, however brief, between two people. Yours sincerely, Dianne

It depends on why you want a relationship in the first place. Are you in it to get laid, or to build a partnership that could last a lifetime? Priorities, priorities... I find it very fascinating how you treat the two different things as mutually exclusive. It's almost pathological. OK, there are people who want short-term sex, and people who want a long-term committment...how many relationships have you personally seen that don't lean strongly toward one side or the other? If you only feel so-so about a relationship of either kind, you're probably not motivated enough to be in one in the first place. The majority of us want healthy, rewarding relationships, albeit some of us are committment shy at first for a wide variety of reasons. C/

Again, why are you trying to silence me? I am going to have a wonderful but short life with my wife, and hopefully we'll have the 3 or 4 kids we want. But why should that stop me from posting my story here, and advising other decent men that they have better choices overseas. Why do you feel so threatened by this? I'm not trying to silence you.  I'm trying to understand why you are so bitter and so full of hatred.  I would rather hear happy stories about your bride and your romance then nasty stories about American women.  Tell us how it is done, a happy romance, instead of how not to do it. Yours sincerely, Dianne

On another note, I have always personally felt that a relationship that needs a tonne of work and building really isn't worth the trouble.  Relationships should be romantic and beautiful, not a construction project. And that's why so many marriages fail IMO. People don't work on keeping their romance alive and growing. Work, yes, but it should be fun, satisfying work.