Awful joke - will it make you barf...?
An Irishman walks into a bar on a Monday dinnertime and asks for a poo and onion sandwich.
The barman asks 'are you sure about that?'
Paddy replies 'yes' so the barman goes out the back and obliges with his request.
All week long the Irishman comes in and has the same dinner.
On the Friday, he asks for a simple poo sandwich.
The barman says 'don't you want onions with that?
Paddy says 'no thanks, they were making my breath smell...'

Get the answers i have a crush on my arts teacher he is only 26 and im 16!?
i have a crush on my teacher and sometimes i feel like he likes me also cuz sometimes he makes it seem like he is flirting with me he doesnt apoarch other girls like he does to me he always says hi to me in hallway frist everytime he sees me like shouldnt i be the one saying hi since he is my teacher and he scearms my name in hallway if i dont see just to say hi, and he always make conversation w/ me that literally doesnt have anythhing to do w/ school. he is a fucking sexy teacher all the girls at my school want him..do you guys think he is a pedofile and i'm fucked in head for having acrush on him like i mean i don't feel guilty at all beacuse he's only arts teacher and all the girls want him. i would feel retarded if i was the only one who wanted him.lol

Get the answers What is the best book you ever read, and why?


Get the answers What have we done to minimise the casualities in disasters like 9/11 or any major earthquake?
I m talking about new advancement or new techniques in debris clearing and helping those under it.

Get the answers Is any MASH 4077 memoribilia on exhibit?
Is there any place where one can see MASH memoribilia on display? A film and TV museum or something of the sort?
Thank you very much.

Get the answers what should i do?
should i start keyshawn johson even though he is going he is going up against the ravens defense, and i have them or should i start joey galloway over him

Get the answers Is it normal to feel nervous and awkward round someone you like?
And how do you get over the feeling as i get on great with guys i dont fancy yet guys i like im a nervous wreck and my words come out all wrong is this normal? Also the guy i like is also shy like myself yet hes comfortable round loud types yet hes nervous round me. Any advice is appreciated

Get the answers Whats the right thing to do?
I have a b/f but he's in another country right now and we're experiencing some problems between us but thats another story,he'll be back end of next year.
The thing is that, he has 3 other bro's that R here and i'm frineds with all of them but 1 likes me a whole lot and he decided today that we should stop talking to each other becuz he feels this is the only way he'll be able to get over me and i went along with it,cuz he claims he's very unhappy as long as he can't have me,so to make him happier i stoped talking to him.There's probably nothing else that i could do but i feel like i'm losing part of my b/f by not talking to his bro,and me and his bro R really great friends,but his bro wants this and thinks this will be better for him.
i don't have feelings for my b/f's bro but i'm really great friends with all of them and i really feel like i'm losing family.

So wat i'm asking is...i know i can't change things becuz this is wat he wants but i'd like to know wat u guys would do.

Get the answers I just bought a 99 4Runner Limited, I love it but it came from Ohio and has a lot of rust underneath and?
what is the best way to remove all the rust?

Get the answers Uuumm What Is Up With This Show?
Well, it's Saturday morning, and i'm bored with nothing else to watch on t.v. So, flipping through the channels, I see House of Carters, with them screaming at one another. lol Whatsup with this show? I was just wondering where is the mom? I know that one of them sued her for mismanaging money. Is she in the home with them? I don't know much about the show.

Get the answers how to get skinny?
im am 210 and 5"10 and i need to seriously lose some weight...mainly stomach fat....wat should i do...please help me...specific details....

Get the answers whats the difference between ipf and pf?


Get the answers Hi. Im doing a project about Lead/Pb the element and I was wondering if anyone knows what lead can be used for
something thats simple anything that it makes in particular. If anyone has any ideas i would appericate them. Thanks

Get the answers Do you think differently about me now that I have CONVERTED to ISLAM?
I am looking at serious answers please.. I am interested in people's percecptions of Muslims.. (and particulary Muslim women)



Two years ago if you saw me..you would have seen a young woman in jeans and a t-shirt etc..
Now if you see me you see a young woman in a hijab ...

Do you think of me differently now.. How I have changed in these 2 years..Have I lost some brain cells?? Am I now a terrorist?? Am I now a downtrodden woman?



(My life has not changed since becoming a Muslim ..and neither do I think my personality has..
I still work, and travel alot.. though I will no longer visit a pub..
Though interestingly..I now feel a greater identification with my country England. Before I was a Muslim because I was an etnhnic minority I did not feel very close to my country.
I have also got more friends from different religions such as Judaism and Christianity because now I can understand religious people and before as an atheist I did not)

Get the answers Nioxin or Regaine? Hair growth products...?
Am only 23yo, i am facing a hair thinning problem. I'm currently using Nioxin hair cleanser, Scalp Therapy and Booster. I'm doubt this brand helps me in my not-so-obvious but happening hair thinning problem. I bought a box of Regaine 2% hair growth booster earlier but left dusted without use. Should i use both product at one time? any better suggestions or recommendations? I'm just a student. Please help me. What i should take note!

Get the answers have a question for over weight people, nothing rude i think.?
I always hear people that are overweight say they need to lose weight but they can't so they take these pills and all these remedies, I'm a slender guy with a fast _meta_bolism, so i always never really understood why people just could not goto a track and run. if you tel people to go to the track and run, they always say they can't. I played sports all the time, I've literally played basketball until i would pass out or need fluids so i thought that was the same ass a big person running at the track its hard but if you wonna lose weight you would push your body. So is it really that hard for a excessivlyoverweight person to just go to the track and lose the weight. Or is it a thing where they run ten steps and get tired and quit. Isn't running the best way to lose weight. Over weight people i'm not trying to be incensitive. For some people that ar over weight are they just lazy and dont wonna lose weight or are the things they need to do to lose weight to hard for them to try

Get the answers Jesus freaks?
If God is so grand, why does he allow babies to die,and so many wars over the same book. )o(

Get the answers ever had a guy as your weakness??
my ex and i broke up before school started, and he moved to a diff state..i might now go out with this guy i really really like, but i know that my ex will come back sometime this Christmas..and if i am with that guy... for a fact i know that i'm going to flirt with my ex! i just won't be able to help it... i talk to him on the phone all the time.. anybody been is a similar situation? wat to do when he comes down here? i can't avoid him

Get the answers Transmission slips when cold and when downshifting (slow) F150 2004, 98000 miles what is wrong?
2004 f150 98000 miles, 4.6 V8 just started doing this. When coming to a stop and then taking off trans slips. Seems to do it more when truck is cold

Get the answers microsoft’s Axapta has the competitive advantage comparing with the similar products of Sap and oracle?
Do you think that microsoft’s Axapta has the competitive advantage comparing with the similar products of SAP and Oracle?
it's said the axapta 's development platform is excellent,isn't it?

Get the answers what are signs of dog poisoning ?
yesterday, my dg was eating some fresh grapes from our garden, and she ate ALOT.
now she wont poo at all.
so do you think there should be anything to be concerning about ?
becuase i`m really worried if ti came to dog poisoning.

Get the answers Can I just move out at 16?
I was wondering if I can move out at 16? I'am constantly emotionally abused by my mom... she always finds a new reason to put me down. I have considered suicide many times but I really don't want to end my life like that. I really don't know what to do anymore. I have a good job, I keep good grades and I'm a very independent person. I really can't put up with her putting me through this hell anymore.I have run away once and the police got involevd but they took her side because she is a fake person and told them lies... so if someone can answer this for me please do so as soon as possible...Thankyou

Get the answers how do i get rid of verizon pop ups and verizon drive cleaner pop up?


Get the answers Making Shared _object_ Files (.so) For Linux using GCC?
My problem seems simplistic. I want to create a dynamicaly loadable library that can sit in the same directory as my executable file and be loaded when i want it to be. I want to be able to load particular functions from the library file and execute them when i need to and then be able to free the memory associated with these proccesses. So far the only information on this matter i can find loads the entire library into memory as soon as the executable loads. I am a C prorgamer (whilst i can understand C++ it is not my preference) so i wouldnt mind answers that are in C.

Get the answers Hardcore muscle growth?
Ok here's the deal. I want to know what is the fastest way of growing muscle. I'm pretty buff now but in the last couple of years I have neglected my body and my 6 pack is gone. So what activities (and how much of them do i need to do) and what kind of diet and substances (i.e. is protien powder the only thing) do i need to intake?
Thnks in advance for the answers.

Get the answers What the hell is Bush's problem?
Why does he want to remove the habeas corpus? We haven't been invaded and taking that away would remove a lot of our rights.

Get the answers So many choices?
So my husband and i are going out for Cninese tonight,what would you pick?Male or Female?

Get the answers Does anyone know how to completely remove a klone virus?
I have been hit withtrojans and a klon that wont go away cany anyone help?

Get the answers What bank has the cheapest overdraft fees?
I know i shouldnt be overdrafting to begin with, but i am deleting my account with wells fargo for charging me 500 dollars in overdraft fees in 2 days, I am a young college student living on my own for the first time, and my WHOLE paycheck this week went into overdraft fees for buying a 2.00 soda and a 5.00 meal. I want a new bank!!!!!!!!!!

Get the answers i downloaded a program need hellp with manga studio?
ok i downloaded manga studio and when ever i try to set it up i open the file and its nutihng but alot of numbers and words acorss the screen i tried downloaing it twice now and the same thing happened do any one no wat i can do or wat program to download to make it work

Get the answers Other password options?
I cant access my old email address,when I do try and change the password,Im told the seciruty question is wrong.I cant remember from back that far what it is,,,does Yahoo have an archive or a way of letting people know what the password is..when this happens ? ( i know iths is a long shot and the answer is probably no) but I thought Id try

Get the answers Why is it hard to find true friends?
I thought I finally found true friends but I was wrong
it last for awhile now little by little people a drifting apart
They start pointing fingers at you though you respect and accept them and the painful part they can't accept your personality while you accept them as they are. That's why I like being alone. I don't like confrontations accusing me of things I am not. why people like to control other people why can't they just let someone else be.

Get the answers creamy mark juice?
should i settle for the creamy steemy mark juice and just not even worry about goin 2 the store 4 my moms stupid ham and w/e? i was pissed i asked her 2 pay 4 my cotton candy at the fair she said shed gibe me 4 tickets she gave me 2 tickest so i only road gravitron and but it was sweet thow lol

Get the answers where are the best places to view the salmon running on the american river between sacramento and lake tahoe?
i'd like to be as close to them as possible.

Get the answers Has anyone felt that they................................................?
weren't loved enough growing up? And feel that is why when your
in a relationship you want to feel loved and special.
Anyone feels the same?

Get the answers My dog has the worst smelling farts! I am 22 weeks pregnant and it even makes me gag.?
I feed him Max from Petco. The dog food is great but no matter what he eats he has a awful stinch to his farts. This is not a joke it really is making me sick! He is an inside dog and he is just as sweet as he can be. He is always beside me like he has claimed ownership over my me. He seems to sometimes act mad, so Huff (My dog) will fart. Then he leaves my side and moves about 10 feet away and he looks at you like,..... What?..... I didn't do it! Any suggestions? What makes me type this for help? My husband now calls Huff you Fart Blossom and I couldn't hold my orange juice this morning. While sitting here reading yahoo, Huff does it again and I laugh and gag at the same time. I am so grossed out to the point where it's just not funny anymore. Orange juice kinda burns coming back up! Can anyone relate?

Get the answers Computer AVR @ 390VA? What is that?
I have a computer AVR with an output of 390va. I dont know what is the equivalent of that to wattage.. Because most of the time what i saw to the output of avr is in unit of wattage.. is it capable of driving a 500w power supply of cpu? Or is it safe to use it in a 32" LCD monitor and a home theather? Thank you

Get the answers You have all heard about a living will. I am thinking about holding a living wake.Is that idea in poor taste?
I was thinking and drinking with some freinds an the idea came up, when we started talking, we thought why wait to get together with freinds to reminese about our lives. So we are talking about a wake for me. Bad taste or great idea?

Get the answers Gumby and Pokey ... and ... Bert and Ernie .... were they all lovers?

check this out:

http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dbert%2Band%2Bernie%26ei%3DUTF-8%26fr%3Dyfp-t-405%26x%3Dwrt&w=400&h=400&imgurl=www.davidclement.com%2Fdc-graphics%2FBertInErnieC.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.imonline.nl%2Fmipiel&size=22.8kB&name=BertInErnieC.jpg&p=bert+and+ernie&type=jpeg&no=4&tt=9,820&oid=075a1c16b3102168&ei=UTF-8

Get the answers I'm writing a paper on HUNTINGTON'S CHOREA (DISEASE) if anyone has expierience or has known someone with ....
if anyone can tell me a story or what it was like please do so
have a nice day and thankyou

Get the answers Did anyone else grow taller when they were pregnant? I was not a teenager.?
When I was pregnant with my third child, at age 30, I grew half an inch taller. I am still taller than before I got pregnant. Has this happened to anyone else? I am certain I measured correctly and people noticed that I was taller.

Get the answers I think my cat Lil' Tom, is exceptionally smart. What do you think?
He gently bites my leg to tell me he is hungry every morning.
He has leaped up in the air and turned on a light switch to wake me up....he also plays with the door stopper to wake me up.
He gets on his hind legs and grabs the doorknob and tries to turn it when he wants to go outside....is this normal?

Get the answers When you come to the end of you mobile contract can you upgrade AND change your number or have to keep same 1?


Get the answers (women) Do you like wearing pantyhose?
i am i guy that likes to wear them. im just trying to find out womens views on pantyhose and men that wear pantyhose?

Get the answers How come if you threaten someone on Yahoo Answers!.....?
you get in trouble, but people think it is ok for someone to make threats against our president and it should be ok?

Get the answers Finance Problem - please help?
I am really lost on this one...

Today’s edition of The Wall Street Journal reports that the yield on Treasury bills maturing in 30 days is 3.5 percent, the yield on Treasury bonds maturing in 10 years is 6.5 percent, and the yield on a bond issued by Nextel Communications that matures in six years is 7.5 percent. Also, today the Federal Reserve announced that inflation is expected to be 2 percent during the next 12 months. There is a maturity risk premium (MRP) associated with all bond with maturities equal to one year or more.
a)Assume the increase in the MRP each year is the same and the total MRP for bonds is the same for bonds with maturities equal to 10 years and greater- that is, MRP is at its maximum for bonds with maturities equal to 10 years and greater. What is the MRP per year?
b)What is the default risk premium associated with Nextel’s bond?
c)What is the real risk-free rate of return?

Get the answers Palm Treo 700p???
I want to buy this phone but I have a couple of questions:
How is the keyboard for text messaging? Is it easy to write?
And also, how is the sound system of this phone? Is it like an iPod or worse?
Thanks

Get the answers i need some mind rest am distubred wit all kind of problems help me frendz?
i dont know how to say i failed in love,not getting good sleep and even food also so many problems but no one hear to talk wit me or no one hear to wipe my tears also am all alone.....

Get the answers What do you think is the worst invention ever made and why?
I think the speed camera is the worst ever invention and should NEVER have been thought up. Know of a worst invention? and why shouldn't this have been invented

Get the answers who else was shocked to here of paul hunters death?
i thought he was a handsome and talented guy,i love watching snooker and thought he was a great p_layer_,he had everything to look forward to,its such a sad shame,he left behind a wife and a young baby..R.I.P paul.x
paul hunter was a proffessional snooker p_layer_ and a champion,he died on monday from stomach cancer,he was only 27.

Get the answers